


Handsome Jack's Plan

by dancesontrains



Category: Batman: The Animated Series, Borderlands (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Crossover, F/M, M/M, Mention of Joker, mention of Harley, mention of Nisha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:27:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22818481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancesontrains/pseuds/dancesontrains
Summary: “Handsome” Jack Lawrence’s smiling, masked face shone down upon Gotham’s streets at night. The illuminated sign for Hyperion guns had just been installed, and had not been defaced yet by anyone.
Relationships: Handsome Jack/Rhys (Borderlands), past Handsome Jack/Nisha (Borderlands) - Relationship
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Handsome Jack's Plan

“Handsome” Jack Lawrence’s smiling, masked face shone down upon Gotham’s streets at night. The illuminated sign for Hyperion guns had just been installed, and had not been defaced yet by anyone. 

The sign promised Peace. Prosperity. Hyperion. 

“Weird to see ‘peace’ next to a gun ad, Batman,” Dick commented. 

Batman only sighed, saying nothing. This was obviously a sore point for him; Bruce Wayne had tried to stop the new Hyperion factory in town, only to be overruled as Handsome Jack had wanted to rebuild on the site of an old party supplies factory. His protests had been ignored for the sake of making sure the Joker and Harley had one less hideout, and Dick… he would never admit this to Batman, but he could see their point. 

Dick fell silent. They stood there, waiting under an awning next to the sign. 

Batman’s radio crackled to life, and Dick could hear that Batgirl was speaking to him from her location in Lynchwood. 

“No sign as of yet?” Batman replied, and sighed again once the answer came. “We’ll wait for now. Give it another ten minutes.” 

“Batman, we’ve been waiting for two hours,” Dick complained, jogging up and down on the spot. “Maybe he’s just not-“he instantly quieted when Batman raised his hand. 

A limousine pulled up. Armed guards surrounded it, spilling out from Helios Tower. The driver, a very large man who had at least one cybernetic enhancement, was opening the door, and Handsome Jack soon stepped out. 

They watched as his driver opened up an umbrella and walked him into Helios, before coming back out to drive the limo into its garage. 

Batman grunted in satisfaction. “Strange though – he usually spends his free time at his lover’s house in Lynchwood, not here.” He contacted Batgirl to let her know Handsome Jack had been spotted, and motioned Dick to follow him. 

They crept out into the night, heading towards an air vent in on of Helios’s upper stories. They swung up; Batman carefully removed the grate, and let Dick go first.

Dick crawled through the vent, eventually reaching an empty staircase. He removed another grate, and slipped out, Batman following him and silently replacing the cover behind them both. 

“How many floors?” Dick whispered. 

“Twenty.” 

There was no point in complaining, so Dick started to head up the stairs, feeling the bigger shadowy presence behind him.

After what felt like half an hour, they reached floor Sixty-Nine. No-one was around; Dick supposed that it was well after normal office hours, but something about the silence made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. 

Batman opened up another air vent grate near the elevator, squeezing in first and letting Dick close it behind them. They continued to move, shuffling softly on the hard metal as they went inwards. Dick had to be careful to not place a hand on Batman’s cape. 

Eventually, Batman paused, looking down through slats at a faintly lit area. He made a quick, abortive movement, then started to shuffle slowly _backwards_ towards Dick. 

Dick, who was by now burning with curiosity, started to move backwards as well (saving his questions for when they weren’t in Handsome Jack’s apartment), but as they passed another grate, something stopped him from moving any further. 

He glanced behind him. It was a gun’s muzzle pointed straight at them. 

Ah. 

“Come out, Batman and Robin. We know you’re there,” Handsome Jack’s voice said. 

Dick looked at Batman, who motioned as much as he could in such a small space to do as Jack said. 

“Alright, we’re coming out; just…point that thing somewhere else, will you?” 

The muzzle disappeared. Dick used his tools to unlock the grate cover, placing them back inside his pocket before jumping out.  
Batman followed him.

Dick was blinking in the bright lights of Jack’s office. The place was huge, rivalling Bruce’s own office.

Handsome Jack was topless and sweaty, wearing a pair of jeans and not much else. His big Hyperion gun was a sharp, bright yellow. 

“So, first of all – what are you two doing here, sneaking around in my tower?” There was an emphasis to the word _tower_ that made Dick feel a little uncomfortable. 

Dick opened his mouth, Batman motioned him to be quiet. 

“Where’s Mr. Blum?”

“At home, with his wife, Batman. Surely you and your spies would know?”

Silence. Then Batman spoke again.

“You had a meeting scheduled with him this evening at half-past nine.”

Jack raised a masked eyebrow. The material was incredibly flexible. “Aha - you looked there, did you? It was rescheduled to half-ten a couple of hours ago.”

“Jack?” a male voice could be heard through a door. “Where did you go?”

A connecting door opened, and a tall skinny white man with blue tattoos covering one arm and part of his chest walked through. Dick could see all of his tattoos because he was wearing nothing but boxer briefs.

_Ah_. That explained why Batman had reversed just then. And why Jack wasn’t in Lynchwood. 

The man paused, looking uncomfortable. He then addressed Jack, “Erm, do we have guests?”

“Rhysie, baby, _does it look like these are guests_?”

‘Rhysie’ shrank back a little. “I…see. I’ll be back in a minute.” 

A slightly awkward silence filled the room.

Batman cleared his throat. “Handsome Jack, we’d be happy to wait around for Mr Blum in half an hour.” 

‘Rhysie’ appeared again, this time in a long fluffy dark robe. He seemed to be hiding something underneath it.

“Hi, Batman and Robin, I’m Rhys.” 

“Hello, Rhys!” Dick said. _One_ of them had to be polite around here. 

Rhys walked to stand next to his lover, who was glaring at both the caped crusaders while still holding a big gun. He whispered something into Jack’s ear. 

Jack laughed, suddenly good humoured again. 

“Anyway – you two. OUT.” 

Dick looked at Batman. 

Batman stared back at Handsome Jack. “No, I’m afraid we need to meet Mr. Blum.” 

“Make an appointment with him in your own time, then! I’m sure you have the mayor’s phone number?”

Rhys withdrew what he was hiding underneath his robe; it was a stun baton. 

Batman moved forward, intending to disarm Handsome Jack, while Dick prepared himself to fight Rhys. He did not seem very coordinated from what Dick could see.

Then Rhys, also walking forward, tripped over the end of his long robe, bringing the stun baton right down onto Dick’s ribs. A huge electric flare, then darkness.

*** 

Dick slowly came back to awareness. He wondered how much time had passed, but kept his eyes closed in case he needed to pretend to be knocked out for a while longer.

He could hear Mr. Blum’s voice. “No, it makes _sense_ , Batman! The police force is flawed. With Handsome Jack’s cyborg clones as the force, those flaws will be eliminated.” 

Dick opened his eyes.

He was tied up next to Batman; they were both seated on chairs. Blum – a weak-chinned white man with short fluffy hair - had obviously just finished a presentation, and was picking up the slides. 

Handsome Jack was sitting next to Rhys –they were both now wearing clothes – and Jack looked pleased with himself. “Batman, the clones are ready to go. You – and your beloved commissioner – can do _nothing_ about it.”

“We’ll see about that.” Batman stood up from his chair, the ropes disintegrating around him. He had used a hidden batarang to cut through them, and used it for Dick’s ropes; all before Jack could lift up his gun. 

“We’re leaving now,” Batman said. “We’ve heard _everything_ we needed to.” 

Handsome Jack frowned a little. “Is…that all? No villainous monologue?” 

“Vil-“ Dick began, but was hushed by a hand to his wrist. 

“No,” Batman said before turning his back on Jack, Rhys and Blum to walk through the room. 

Dick mouthed “Villainous?” at Handsome Jack, who rolled his eyes and growled “ _I’m_ the hero here, kiddo.” 

This time, they left via the elevator. The Tower was still empty, though Dick supposed that made more sense now that it was so late. 

They walked out past a stunned looking receptionist – whom Dick cheerfully smiled at – and were soon in the rain again. 

The Batmobile was pulled up in front of the glass rotating doors. Batgirl was driving. 

“Come on in,” she said. 

“How did the mission go?” she asked. Dick summarised it for her; she made a disapproving noise. “What a plan, what an oversized _ego_ …” 

The drive home was fairly short, Barbara moving at great speed through the countryside till they reached the Batcave. 

Batman left the car, moving to undo a small hidden wire underneath his outfit. “Did you get that, Alfred?” 

“Yes, sir. I must say, the notion of _Handsome Jack_ ’s cyborg clones becoming the police force is…most unsavoury.” 

“Are we going to give the tape to the newspapers, Batman?” Dick asked. 

“Already done, young master,” Alfred replied.

*** 

The next morning, Dick came down to see Bruce reading the paper over his morning coffee with a smirk on his face. “Hello, chum. Slept well?”

“Yes, thank you.” Dick leaned forward eagerly. “What do they say?” 

Bruce tossed the paper at Dick. 

The headline read “’Handsome’ Jack’s cyborg clones: the New Face of Gotham’s Police?” There was a big picture of Jack on the front cover, along with smaller ones of Blum and Rhys. 

“Rhys _works_ for him?” Dick wrinkled his nose as he continued to read. “Ew.” 

Bruce drained the last of his coffee. “Blum’s been fired from the mayor’s office since that went to print, and Hyperion stocks are down.”

“I do like it when things go our way,” Dick smiled, finishing the article.

**Author's Note:**

> Kindly betaed by Prinsu; all remaining mistakes are mine. 
> 
> Follow me on Twitter (@dancesontrains), Tumblr (handsomejackshairplugs) or Dreamwidth (dancesontrains).
> 
> Thank you for reading.


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